You need a gun and a desire to play Call of Duty in your underwear all day.
i hope a roll of drafting tape, mario party 3 and my watermelon undies will suffice
i think the Republican party should be renamed The Scrapbook Party
that’s what they’re doing with all those documents they always demand right?
“Hey look a black president lives in America and grew up in America and went to American schools and married another American and had an all-American family and ran for president of the United States of America! Let’s be irrelevant and not to mention racist, and demand his birth certificate from him because he’s got some Kenyan in him/has been o Kenya so like, that means he probably isn’t even American because fuck culture because America is only the melting pot nation on those patriotic after school specials we let our kids watch after Sunday school.
Oh look he showed it to us but let’s still dissect it and talk about it and insist it’s not real because we have fair and balanced reporting here, folks, we have COLD HARD NEWS like Brock HUssein Osama is a MUSLIM that LIED about his BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!!!!!!!! HE DOESN’T GO TO CHURCH THIS IS A CHRISTIAN NATION OUR FOREFATHERS WERE CHRISTIANS Y’ALL, except that they weren’t but FOLKS!!!!”
Like now, Elizabeth Warren (MA) is running for senate against, I believe, Scott Brown. She has some Native American on her mother’s side and now Republicans/Scott Brown’s camp are challenging that and demanding she make public documents to prove it because if it isn’t true, they’re all “OH BOY she used it to her advantage in college applications and job interviews and it gave her advantages that she might not have deserved despite her obvious hard work and qualifications and intelligence because this is America and everything is fair and balanced and even and fair and AMERICA and no, we don’t make our kids use any culture in their blood to their advantage on financial aid and college apps and shit because AMERICA!!!!!!!!!! And also, yes, if this goes further, we’re probably going to pretend that we care about the exploitation of Native American culture even though our government/media/society treats it like shit all the time anyway and we’re slowly erasing them from existence because this is AMERICA.”
Like, they’re asking her to provide paperwork for a heritage that is being wiped out
And then they were all “Yeah, but Scott Brown, our sweet angelic boy, little Scotty, aw… wait what were we saying? Oh, right, he released all of the documents from the past THIRTY-TWO YEARS of his life! No one even asked him to, that beautiful, white upper middle-class man! So, like. Yeah.”
So basically if you’re not white and a man, the Republicans aren’t going to invite you to their Scrapbooking club but they’re going to bully you into providing them with all of the paper meche or however you spell it
and you’re going to be standing knee deep in shitty toilet water that has become the overflowing bathroom that is our nation and you’re also not even going to have a raft because that counts as protection which is a synonym for contraception.
WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS? Can’t we take a lesson from elementary school teachers and stare at them like they’re stupid until they realize that they are?
In case anyone flips at me, I’m arguing that demanding these documents all the time is a racist/sexist/irrelevant load of shit in the face of more important issues at hand.
